Friday, February 8, 2013

Emotional Funk

It's been a rough week emotionally. The anniversary of my mom's death is tomorrow. It's still hard on me. Too many regrets. Mostly regrets that I didn't spend more time with her. My head reminds me that it's not good to live in the past, but my heart isn't listening at the moment. The family birthday party for my grandkids is tomorrow too. That will help. Isabel, Gage and Caelan seem to always be able to make me smile. Maybe time with them is what I need to get out of this emotional funk. :-)

I've been eating too much the last week or so too...and not doing much otherwise. Maybe because of how I've felt emotionally, along with the ongoing pain and fatigue, a part of me quit caring about myself and what is good for me. I've basically got a bad attitude and that showed up on the scale. I gained 6 pounds. Though I know I'm dealing with some water retention too, probably the better part of that weight gain came from making bad eating choices and not exercising. I'm hoping that once I get past this emotional anniversary, I'll move forward in a more positive way. I have to somehow get past these emotions, the pain and fatigue, and then do what I need to do to get into better health overall. It's a daily struggle that I can't give up on or my hope is gone.

I want to write more, but don't have much in me today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. :-)

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