Writing
Blogging is new to me so I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I'm going to try and share my thoughts.
My best bud, Karen, who helped me setup this page is planning to tell friends that my blog is out there for viewing. I'm not sure who would want to read what I have to write, but by Karen being my personal advertising campaign, it forces me to actually blog something. I guess I've been rattling on too much about how I want to write again, so she's trying to help me accomplish that goal...maybe even make me accountable to my so-called desires; though what's wrong with whining about something you want to do without ever really applying yourself to doing it??? I mean I have a number of excuses I can come up with for not putting my fingers on a keyboard or picking up a pen. Fibromyalgia is a big one. I deal with pain a lot, I'm always tired, and my head waffles in and out of this dense fog that affects my focus and memory, among other things. It's appropriately named fibro fog. When those excuses aren't enough, I can come up with more, like being busy. There's all kinds of things that fill up my day...eating, checking my email, washing dishes, letting the dogs out, retrieving the postal mail, and looking out the window to see if weather. com has predicted the correct weather for my area. The list is really endless!
OK...as you probably already know, most of those excuses are just excuses and not great reasons for putting off the writing that is in my heart to do. The real truth is, I have trouble sharing myself with others or even putting my thoughts onto a page that may not even be read. I'm an introvert at heart and grew up with trust issues, and then when my Mom died a few years ago, I dug myself into a deeper hole...it's how I survived. This last year, I've been trying to force myself out of my safety zone but it's still a scary place for me; and more often than not, I want to run back into my hole and hide. It's even scarier to put my inner self onto a written page. Writing this blog is a way to step outside myself; or as my husband, Marty, described it today, I'm stepping into a snowy pit of lions and facing my fear...the fear of being hurt, the fear of failure, the fear of facing the difficult losses in my life that seem too hard to bear, the fear of me not being enough in some way...the fear of fear.
So bear with me as I write, or don't write. It's a process that God, my husband, my family, and good friends like Karen are helping me through.
Well, for not knowing what you're doing, you're doing a GREAT job! Love it, Peg. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being you, Karen. The best kind of a friend a girl could have. You help me be a better me!
DeleteOhhh, I have a feeling you are more than enough, just being you! I am one of the Yadas--wish I'd met you Monday night. Thanks for doing a blog--your feelings and words are worth a lot--and ta dah! God will bless you for it. Even Karen will say "Patti's right about that!" Lots of times she wouldn't be able to say that~ ha!
ReplyDeleteWish I could have met you too. I appreciate your words in regard to the blogging. All of the comments have encouraged me to try and stay with it.
DeleteWelcome to blogging, Peggy! I'm an introvert too (biggest one in Karen's coffee group) and found it took much more bravery to blog than write novels. And I know about that dreadful fog too. Mine was chemo fog. Five years of it, and whatever lingering effects it left. Memory? I think I still know what that word means.
ReplyDeleteBlogging gets less scary with practice, and can even be fun. Way to go you for taking the leap and following your heart's desire. It was great to see you again Monday.
It was great to see you again on Monday and nice to know that you can relate to me being an introvert. You made me smile with what you wrote about your memory.
DeleteHi Peggy,
ReplyDeleteI don't have fibbro fog but have stumbled around in chemo fog!! And memory?? I tell people that I am the safest person to tell secrets to because I won't remember ANYTHING!!
Loved your list of excuses.
Thanks for commenting. I can relate to people sharing secrets with you. I'm very safe in that way too! :-)
DeleteHi Peggy, my fog isn't from fibro or chemo but from a brain injury. Regardless, I feel your pain! Writers can't do what they do once that fog rolls in.
ReplyDeleteThis time last year I was writing 4000-7000 words/day--and could do as much as 20,000 in a 24-hour period if I had a deadline and needed to pull an all-nighter. After a nasty concussion last Spring, that dropped to about 150 words/day--and I'm talking about an 8-hours-at-the-computer day. Not pretty. In the past year, I have recovered somewhat, though even now I'm still at less than 1000 words/day, no matter how hard I try. Talk about a fog! Ugh!
Anyway, not trying to whine, just wanted to commiserate and say hello and give you best wishes on your blog. Don't be afraid! One of the fears you listed is that of not being "enough." So not true! You are articulate and transparent, two qualities every real writer needs. Putting your thoughts out there for the world to see can be scary, but think of the many ways God can use those words once you do. Your honesty just may touch the heart of a person you don't even know, somehow shining light into their darkness.
I don't know you, but I do know Karen, and if she says you're ready, then you're ready. :)
Go for it! Keep at it! And trust that God will use your courage for His glory. Isn't that how He is? Just as Peter had to step out of the boat and onto the water, you're now stepping out of your comfort zone and onto the web with this blog. Just remember to keep your eyes on Christ as you move forward. Remember, you are plenty "enough" for Him--always were, always will be. :)
You're doing well with your blog. Sharing your thoughts will become easier the more posts you write. I'm glad Karen got you started. I guess you know she will keep you accountable to your blog writing! Thanks, Karen for encouraging a writer again.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing, Jo. I need someone to keep me accountable! :-)
ReplyDeleteTake care,
Peggy