Friday, December 28, 2012

Ugh! Pain Reigns!

Bronchitis is better, though not totally gone. Much better than it was though. Woo hoo!! Bad news though is the fibro pain is back. What's up with that??? Can't a girl get a break? I'd like a day when I'm not tired, not dealing with asthma or other respiratory problems; when I have no sinus issues; no pain of any kind, and my body overall is in good health. I want to feel joy, but it's difficult to feel happiness to that depth when you don't ever feel good. I don't forget though, and am thankful, that I don't have cancer, aids or other life-threatening or debilitating ailments. But does that mean I should feel guilty for wanting to have a few days of good health?  I do feel guilty though. Though I'm just trying to be open with my thoughts now, I feel at risk of being looked at as an ungrateful whiner. Maybe the problem is, I see myself that way. I grew up thinking I shouldn't complain, and still struggle within myself when I share negative thoughts. It makes me think I'm weak emotionally because I'm not quiet about my physical issues. It's hard to break free from that mindset, even when sharing how I feel in this blog.

To go on though...I had less than stellar sleep until around 1am last night. I tossed and turned a lot. By 3am, I couldn't sleep at all. No matter which way I turned, one or more areas of my body felt pain. I started out sleeping in my bed, then moved to the recliner, the sofa, and ultimately back to the recliner. I gave up on sleep totally around 4:30 this morning. With all that said, the fibro pain was not as bad as it's been at other times, so I can be thankful for that. I am still very tired though...not so thankful for that. :-)

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